Rebecca's Rambles…

Carelessly, she danced around the shabby grey building offering light and energy to every room she explored. The sides of her plump lips were glistening as she salivated whilst eagerly explaining my timetable, routes I could take to save time in the school and the profile of each teacher she came across in the endless corridors. I felt in complete awe. I wasn’t listening to her induction anymore and I blushed discreetly as I felt my eyes undressing her. Looking couldn’t hurt. Her soft curly chestnut brown hair bounced innocently upon her curvaceous body. A size twelve I estimated. The nape of her neck directed me further down her body, that I urgently wanted to reach out and touch. The tight white blouse that clung obediently to her, gaped ever so slightly , just so, encouraging the eye to glance momentarily upon a plump bosom being hidden in a black laced polka dot blue bra. The colour combination of clinical white with boisterous blue underneath was electrifying and almost erotic.

I settled into Finsbury Catholic High School almost instantly. Within four weeks I vaguely knew everyone in the year. My peers demonstrated the kind of manners, wit and charm that I had always desperately wanted to acquire. From day one I realised why Jennifer was perfect for Head Girl, the ambassador of Finsbury. She excelled her duties and as for showing me round, she was courteous in every sense of the manner. Her kind nature never failed to find ways to console and comfort me, ensuring I was settling into the sixth form and for once I had a friend. She was amazing. I was incredibly grateful that our timetables coincided as much as they did. It seemed an enjoyment sitting next to her in Maths and Physics. However, I reluctantly opted to study Law as well and had to sit in a room with dimwit blondes hoping to be the next Legally Blonde with peroxide, Coco Chanel and Gucci handbags at their legal side. “Dimtits” was Jennifer’s term for those breed of girls. The phonetic effect of that phrase made Jennifer shiver instantly as soon as the lexis rolled off her delicate tongue. Her whole frame shook and those moments made me want to wrap my arms securely around her. I realised after only two months that this strong heroine character who possessed intelligence, wit and a glowing manner was admired by the entire school. There was no way she had it within her to inflict pain upon another. Well, that’s what I thought.

My friendship with Jennifer ended on Friday 13th October, the night she came for a culinary feast at my house. My single, pathetic excuse for a mother persuaded me to invite her round. At twenty years old the slag of a mother had me. She has never been quite sure who my father is, or how she would diplomatically address every child’s question of a missing parent, “Your father’s out there somewhere. A hero undeniably. Fighting undoubtedly for this country or representing us within the law system.” I later learnt from snooping through mums’ photographs and letters he was a heroin drug dealer from South East London that she picked up one cold drunken evening when working her trade on the streets. Yet again she called it parlour work. Now she works for social services liaising with the police force and dealing with the outcasts of society. Irony slaps us all in the face. She was desperate for me to stop causing chaos at schools and to settle down. After only a few months she was astounded to see my change of behaviour since attending Finsbury, and frankly, so was I.

Mum was attending a works do when I invited Jennifer round. We watched chick flicks all night and laughed in unison together at the cringe worthy love making scenes. I am glad she concurred with my view on those distasteful scenes. Penises shoved in your faces. I popped to the local Londis and when I returned my friendship was destroyed. Jennifer’s coat and bag were gone and my laptop still balancing on the side of the table displayed a young fresh faced brunette on her back with her fingers slipped ever so poetically between her vaginal lips. You could clearly see she was aroused as she was lying there in a teasing position. Suggestive and saucy. This picture was by far my favourite.

The weeks leading up to Christmas saw the distance increase between me and Jennifer. Lessons weren’t the same. I sat at the back feeling cold, alone and had the empty pit feeling whenever I even glimpsed at the back of her hair, her shiny locks hanging over the back of the rigid plastic chair. Conversations between us two had ceased since that night, until the last day of the winter term.

I waited against the wall. My body was frozen stiff; the temperature must have been below zero. She had stayed late working with Jane on their IT assignment for next year and as I watched the two of them hug ever so tightly I cringed and crumpled my stomach. Luckily for me they both start walking in opposite directions. Jennifer took the alleyway; only a five minute shortcut to her house. I had followed her many a time.

The blood flow to my hands was restricted by the latex, almost unbearable, but the pleasure about to follow seemed to reassure my frozen digits. With one blow she fell to the floor graciously. The brick had knocked her instantly out. I unzipped my bag ever so carefully. What a contrast to my previous action. I could hear a faint murmur from her precious lips. I knew I had to hurry up. I lined up my weapons in front of me and smiled proudly.

I bound her wrists and ankles so tight I could see the marking being imprinted before my very own eyes. The pattern looked so harsh upon soft supple skin. She coughed and spluttered. Blood trickled down her neck staining her tarnished J necklace. I picked up the bottle and poured vigorously whilst retaining the feeling of laughter deep inside me.

The pain was excruciating. I could see it as her eyes opened widely for what seemed an eternity. The heat basked at my face and I could feel her beauty burning. The sizzling and cracking of her precious locks. Her quiet scream was shrill yet comforting. The body stopped twitching and the crispy ice air whistled silently. I picked up my bag triumphantly, flinging the latex gloves inside and pulling out an electric blue pair of woolly gloves. It was a chilly night. I whispered as I briskly walked past the disfigured body, “I only wanted a girlfriend.”